Possibilities
by Ps3udonym
Summary: An Episode 26, Alternate Universe Story. Asuka struggles with possibilities with her childhood friend.
1. Possibilities

A beam of light shone across his face as the boy slept, illuminating his blank expression. His mouth was slightly agape as his chest rose and fell slightly. I tiptoed around his bag, and hopped awkwardly over a small pile of manga, almost falling into the shelf of Shinji's robot models in the process. Lucky, I managed to carry my momentum forward instead, falling away from the shelf and right on top of Shinji… and the giant lump underneath the covers.

* * *

**Possibilities**

An Evangelion fan-fiction.

Evangelion is the property of studio Gainax.

Series created by Hideaki Anno with character designs by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion; all characters and designs have been used without permission. I don't own the name-brand Wonder Bread either, in case you're wondering.

* * *

Of course, I had seen it before. I mean, I do wake him up every morning. I mean, it was just yesterday when I slapped him. Twice, mind you, once for that and once for calling me a pain in the ass.

Someone had to keep that boy in check, and as his childhood friend, who better?

"What the- what are you doing on top of me?!" At least he was awake today.

"It's your fault!" I quickly redirected the blame. "If your room wasn't an absolute pigsty I wouldn't have fell!"

Well, it was his fault. Stupid Shinji and his stupid manga. I was exaggerating a bit about the pigsty – my room was much worse. Shinji even properly put his shirts on hangers, instead of strewn around the floor.

"What does my room being a little messy have to do with your lack of balance?" He asked, still a bit testy.

I sighed loudly and decided that it wasn't worth the time it would take to explain – we were actually going to be late.

"Forget it!" I yelled. "Just get ready."

"Alright, alright," he said, walking to the washroom. I took the time to bulldoze the offending comics with my foot into his cello, leaning at the side room – I wasn't about to trip over the same stack tomorrow.

I grabbed a set of Shinji's school uniform out of the closet, along with a pair of socks. Honestly, I did everything for him in the mornings. I chuckled at what would happen if I didn't wake him every day, imagining a half-dressed Shinji running into class halfway through first period.

"Why do I bother…," I muttered to no one in particular.

The little penguin bobble-head doll I bought him for his last birthday nodded in sympathy.

"Put this on!" I threw the clothes at him as I yanked open the bathroom door. The poor boy tripped on his towel in shock at the sudden lack of privacy. Served him right for waking up late.

He awkwardly jumped around, trying to get his legs through the right hole on his pants while closing the door. After a short while, he emerged, hair unkempt. His collar was messed up, half of it sticking up, other half twisted.

"You idiot," I teased softly, smiling. I leaned in and straightened his collar out for him. "You're hopeless."

He grinned sheepishly as I finished up.

"There." I said. "Now you're dressed for success."

My hands lingered on his shoulders for a brief moment, realizing how close we were. No, not a moment - an eternity.

"Um…" I couldn't stop looking into his eyes.

Shinji's mom interrupted us, clad in her apron, a stack of buttered toast in hand.

"Here you go, dear," she offered. Shinji almost leapt to the waiting food, grabbing two pieces.

"Would you like some too?" She asked me, thrusting the plate in my direction.

"No, thank you Mrs. Ikari," I declined. "I already ate before I came up."

Shinji's mom winked at me as she brought the plate back to the kitchen. Shinji, already munching on a piece of toast, missed it.

"Don't forget to bring your lunch!" She called out.

I pushed him to the doorway, bags in hand. Shinji took a break from eating to say goodbye to his mom. His dad had already left for the university. I said a hasty goodbye as I slipped on my shoes.

Today was a welcome change from the usual: instead of running to school, we were actually early enough to just walk. Just as well, I thought, remembering the collision yesterday.

Arguing in class had _not_ been fun. Shinji, the wimp, had been so spineless that I had to defend him. And then the whole "Rei-Shinji-Asuka" love triangle rumour thing had become the topic of the day.

No way. Love triangles? Asuka Soryu Langley is _not_ someone who gets into love triangles. Triangles are unfriendly – nothing good is ever in the shape of a triangle: the Bermuda triangle, shark fins in the water… even Triscuits are square, despite their name.

Shinji was still chomping on the second piece of toast, oblivious to my mind's machinations.

"Hey, Shinji," I asked innocently. "What do you think of that new girl?"

"Who, Ayanami?" He replied between swallows.

"Yeah, do you think she's cute?" I said.

He swallowed the last bite of toast before answering. "She's not bad, I guess," he thought aloud.

"Prettier than me?" I questioned. I loved putting the boy on the spot. Though lately he'd been showing a bit more backbone, something which I took pride in.

"Yeah," he laughed. "You're too ugly to compare." He stuck his tongue out.

Ouch. I knew he was joking, but that still hurt. The problem with being childhood friends is that sometimes in all the teasing, the truth gets blurred. What did he really think?

"Jerk!" I insulted him playfully to mask my feelings.

"Hey, don't ask the question if you can't handle the answer!"

"Humph," I mock-growled. "Well, you and that blue-haired bi…"

My voice trailed off as I realized who was up ahead in the distance. Speak of the devil.

Great.

"Hey, Ayanami!" Shinji waved. The girl waved back and walked over to meet us.

"Hey, guys, walking to school?" She greeted us cheerfully.

"Yep," Shinji replied, equally as cheerfully.

I was alternating between nausea at how much Shinji was drooling over her and anger over the fact that he was fraternizing with her. Her! The girl who had just run him over yesterday, and then argued in class about it after!

"No hard feelings about yesterday, I hope?" She asked.

"Sure," I eyed her a bit suspiciously. I was being a bit more catty than usual, but whatever. I had good reasons.

"How are you adjusting to Tokyo-3?" Shinji asked.

"It's been alright," Rei said. "All my friends in Tokyo-2 were sad when I left, but it's not like I'm never going to see them again, right?"

"Right!" Shinji beamed at her.

Meh, I thought.

"Why did you transfer?" Shinji asked. I couldn't tell whether he was just trying to be polite, or whether he actually liked this girl.

"Well, my father got a new job at this American bread company that's trying to expand into Japan, and their new offices are in Tokyo-3, so we had to move. He's in charge of marketing: have you ever heard of Wonder bread?"

Wondergirl. Sounds perfect.

Wondergirl over there had hijacked my morning commute. That's right, leave me all alone while you two go on, chatting to each other like you're on a date. In fact, why don't I just go run into the street and play in traffic? It'd probably be less painful than listening to this conversation.

"Asuka?" Shinji asked.

What? Wait, they were talking to me.

"Pardon me?" I said.

"Rei just asked if we wanted to go shopping after school," he answered.

"Shopping…?" I was surprised. I didn't want to spend my time with _her_. That's great Asuka, be even more catty to the new transfer student.

"Um, I can't," I stuttered, struggling to think of a reason. "Because… I promised to go to the mall with Hikari after school!" Whew, Hikari would cover for me. Wait. Did I just say the mall? Way to think on your feet, Asuka.

"Why don't you just come with us?" Shinji replied, undeterred.

"Yeah," Rei added. "I could use your help picking out clothes! I'm a bit of a fashion disaster."

"With an invitation like that, how could I refuse?" I answered without enthusiasm.

We arrived at the schoolyard – Shinji off to Toji and Kensuke, and Rei off to… well, Rei was still walking with me. I looked for Hikari, but she was nowhere to be found, probably helping the sensei with something before class started. I was stuck with Wondergirl.

"So, what's the deal with you and Shinji?" she asked in a not-so-innocent voice.

Answering a question with a question, I went on the offensive. "Why are you so interested? Are you into him or something?"

"Well, he's a bit of a pervert," Rei giggled. "But he's pretty cute."

I was taken aback by how forward she was – how do you reply to something like that? Luckily, I caught a glimpse of Hikari walking through the front doors of the school.

"Hey, there's Hikari!" I blurted out, walking over to my friend.

"Asuka? You still haven't answered my question…"

I pretended not to hear her as I walked faster.

Last year, Hikari had hosted a sleepover. Me and the other girls had gone over to read magazines, gossip, watch movies and do other girl-related things. During the night, I was mindlessly flipping an issue of _Cosmo_ or some other thing when I saw an article about the concept of the "friend-zone", or how a person can be seen as just a friend forever, instead of something more.

Of course, this was the same magazine that had advertised articles like "Forty-eight tips to satisfy your man" and "How to lose those last 15 pounds", so it wasn't as if it was a great beacon of journalism.

Still, I had read the entire article. I didn't know why – Shinji and I had obvious romantic tension at times, but I thought that was just our bodies talking to each other. It wasn't like either of us was harbouring secret deep feelings of love. All boy/girl friendships go through that, right?

When the other girls and Hikari saw the article, they started the whole "Shinji and Asuka are a couple" talk, which only stopped when I threw a pillow at Hikari's face.

Still, the phrase had stuck in my head. Not that I've ever seriously thought about the boy like that – just… when you're best friends with someone of the opposite gender for so long, you can't help but wonder, you know?

Today, Hikari was doing her own wondering… about that stupid track-suited dimwit, Toji.

"I just did it," she breathlessly mentioned as I approached.

"Did what?" I asked.

"You forgot? Today? You know…" Hikari blushed.

"The letter!" I quickly recalled. I had even stayed after class with Hikari last week to write it - a love letter to be shoved into his shoe locker. Anonymous, of course, saying that they had the same homeroom, asking him to meet her on the roof after class.

"Do you think he'll come?" She asked. I opened the door to the hallway as we walked to class.

"Yeah," I said. "He'll be there." I didn't exactly approve Hikari's taste in men, but even an idiot like Toji would leap for the chance to be with her. And if he didn't… well, it'd probably be better for her. Probably.

"Ahhh," I remembered. "Sorry I wasn't there to help you with the letter this morning."

"It's alright," Hikari giggled a bit. "I know how important waking up Shinji is."

I opened my mouth to retort, but then I decided against it. I wasn't about to get into that again. Instead, I avoided the conversation again.

"Are you sure you put it in the right locker?"

"Yeah, positive."

We reached the class, where the idiot trio were already sitting together, deep in thought. I caught a peek of what today's subject of discussion was – Hikari's letter. I nodded at my friend. It was a good thing that the boys never bothered keeping their voices low.

"Who do you think put it in there?" Kensuke asked. "She's in our class?"

"I don't know," Toji scratched his head. The image of an ape doing the same thing entered my mind.

"Well, take a guess," Shinji offered. "Maybe it's Hikari?"

"Nah," Toji said. "The class rep hates me ever since I dumped sand over her in second grade."

I stifled a giggle.

"Can't be Asuka," Kensuke stated the obvious. "What about Mizuki?"

Mizuki Musashi was a classmate of ours – she, and just about every other girl in the class knew that Hikari had a crush on Toji.

"Maybe," Toji said. "I don't know."

"Well, are you going to-" Shinji's question, the only one I had been interested in hearing the answer to, was cut off by the screech of tires as our teacher announced her presence.

The three ran to the window to give Misato their daily V signs, complete with matching idiotic grins. Great.

"Rise! Bow! Sit down!"

Too bad Hikari had to start class. The rest of their conversation would be by computer.

The morning came and went. Miss Katsuragi wasn't as bad as say, our last sensei, but honestly, sometimes she was _too_ relaxed. When the lunch bell rang, she let us go for the day.

"I have a date," Misato grinned. "And I've got to get ready. You guys have been great today, so you can have the rest of the day off. Remember that your math homework is due tomorrow!"

And she left with a wink, keys in hand.

"How does that woman keep her job?" Hikari scowled

"I heard that her dad has some pull with the principal," I answered. "Something about them working together...

"Wait, why are you still here?" I remembered the time. "You're going to be late: the note said after class!" The entire room had emptied in a hurry, excited at the unexpected early release. Shinji, Toji, and Kensuke had left in the crowd, Wondergirl tagging along. I'd have to deal with the trip later.

Hikari wouldn't look at me, instead preferring to look at the ground. "Asuka… would you do me a favour?"

"What are you… oh no…" I groaned, as I realized what Hikari wanted me to do.

"Could you go to the roof first?" Hikari pleaded. "Just to see if he comes! I'll be there too, just hiding!"

My eye twitched a bit. It has a tendency to do that. "You're lucky I'm such a good friend…"

I grabbed Hikari and broke out into a run to the roof – we had to beat them there. We ran through the hall and up the stairs, but not before carefully slipping past Toji's little group while making sure we were out of sight – lucky that they walked so slowly.

I threw Hikari behind one of the giant vents as we broke out into the sunlight, tossing our bags to her. We didn't have too much time to catch our breaths; the boys were juts behind us.

The door opened to reveal…

"S-Shinji?"

"Asuka?!"

"Why are you here?" I almost screamed.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?" He screamed.

"Toji was supposed to come!" I replied.

"Wait, you're the one who gave Toji the letter?" Shinji's voice rose higher in surprise.

"RED DEVIL?" Toji clambered out of the hallway, pointing at me in shock. I heard a thud behind the door – Kensuke probably.

"HOLD IT!" I yelled. "I'M NOT THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU THAT STUPID LETTER!"

"I did," Hikari meekly said, coming out from behind the vent.

Shinji and Toji both deflated a little.

"Come on," I said. I took my bag, grabbed Shinji by the ear and dragged him out to the hall. "Let's go."

"H-hi," I heard Toji stammer.

I gave Hikari a little smile as I walked through the open door, pushing aside Kensuke. The boy had recovered from my surprise appearance, and was recording Hikari and Toji's awkward rendezvous.

"Where's Rei?" I asked, "Wasn't she with you?"

"She went home," Shinji said. "After she heard that we were going to help Toji, she said that the mall could wait till another day. She's eating lunch under the tree."

"Oh." I said.

Kensuke interjected. "Well, as much as I'd love to stay here and make fun of the happy couple, I'm going to join Rei down there and see if she wants some company."

"So just to be clear, you were-"

"Only there to help out Hikari." I confirmed.

"And the letter…"

"All her." He didn't need to know that I helped write it. Heck, I didn't even want to know that I helped write it.

"When do you think they'll be done?" He asked.

"I don't know… she's planned this out for a while; Toji has class duty this week too. I bet she'll stay back to help him, and then they might go eat?"

"Want to get lunch then?" Shinji asked. "I didn't bring mine."

"I knew I forgot something this morning," I realized. "Sorry." Today was just one of those days… I had forgotten so many things, including packing my own lunch, too.

"It's fine," Shinji smiled. "So, lunch?"

"Sure, you can buy me lunch," I grinned.

"Fine," he said. "Where to?"

"I coouulldd make you take me to that expensive French place I've been talking about… hmmm…," I teased, smiling at him. "Let's just go get burgers and then the arcade?"

"Alright," he smiled back. We left the school and started walking to the entertainment district.

See, this is what I like best about what we are. Nothing's complicated. I don't have to hide a note in his locker to meet for lunch. We don't even have to talk while we're walking. Shinji, just smiling like an idiot at everything around him. Me… well. Yeah.

And we have the same interests – I mean, would Rei go with him to the arcade to play video games? We've known each other for forever – we know practically everything about each other, and we don't care about our differences.

Shinji has no idea what I'm thinking. He's looking at the window of a practical toy shop.

We just enjoy each other's company. And in the end, that's what makes me think – no, feel… sometimes, like there might just be something more lurking there. Yeah, I'll admit it to myself. Sometimes.

"Hey, they have fake vomit!"

And then he does something like that.

"No, you are _not_ getting fake vomit," I chided, gently taking his arm and forcing him to walk.

The burger shop was emptying out. Businessmen and other kids from our school alike had already eaten and were hurrying back. I guess that whole rooftop escapade had taken longer than I thought. At least we had the rest of the day off.

I grabbed a booth while Shinji went to place our orders and pay – he didn't even need to ask me what I wanted. He probably even knew where I was going to suggest for lunch – my American heritage cried out for a burger every now and then. He didn't even complain about paying: Japanese burger places could be pretty pricey.

The scary thing was, I _could_ imagine us as a couple pretty easily. It wouldn't be that much of a change – just instead of me leading him by the arm away from fake vomit, it would be us holding hands. Instead of him paying for lunch… well, he'd probably still pay for lunch. We were growing up, and I didn't know how things would turn out. Rei said she thought he was cute. He said he thought she was cute. Two plus two equals four. But what did Shinji and I equate to?

There wasn't a line-up, so he was back pretty quickly.

"The burgers should be done quickly," he said, handing me a milkshake.

I sucked on the straw, focusing on my drink. Dammit. Asuka Soryu Langley does not get pushed into anything. I was _not_ thinking about this.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Shinji awoke me from my reverie.

"Huh?"

"You're spacing out a bit – are you alright?"

I didn't reply – should I tell him about thinking about us? How would he react? Or would he tell me he's been thinking about the same thing?

"I'm just thinking about what Hikari did today," I lied.

"Yeah, the look on Toji's face was priceless," he laughed.

"Yours wasn't too bad either," I teased. "But seriously, she's liked him for so long, and now she actually did something about it. I wonder if they'll get together?"

I swirled my straw around in quiet contemplation.

"Maybe," Shinji replied. "I don't think Toji's never thought about her that way – he's definitely stared at her in class before though."

He took a sip of his milkshake, and then continued.

"I don't know if Toji'll ever live it down," Shinji chuckled. "Having a girl ask him out."

"What are you laughing at?" I replied. "You're the same way too. I can't imagine you asking a girl out to save your life."

Oh why was I doing this to myself? Why why why…

"I'm not as bad as Toji," Shinji argued. "I wouldn't need a girl to ask me out."

The server came by and brought us our burgers, along with a basket of fries.

"Oh please," I said as I grabbed the bottle of ketchup. "You're as thick as this bottle. Stupid ketchup."

I was now whacking the bottle violently on its butt, as the red paste inched slowly towards my plate.

"You know what?" He said. "I'll even prove it to you. The next time I really like a girl, I'll ask her out."

"That'll be the day," I snorted. Uh-oh, what did I just do? The ketchup had finally made it onto the plate.

I dipped a fry and popped it into my mouth.

"Alright," I said. "I'll hold you to that."

I just picked at my burger after that, barely listening to Shinji talk.

After we finished eating, we wandered over to the arcade. It was mostly deserted, but there was the odd teenager there, either skipping school, or high school dropouts who were killing time.

Shinji and I grabbed change and went to go play a shooting game.

"So I noticed you didn't actually go to the mall with Hikari," Shinji casually remarked, as he blew the leg off an approaching zombie.

"Well, I couldn't exactly say 'hey, I'm helping Hikari confess her undying love for Toji today," I explained, shooting a gross maggot-zombie.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with the mall? You could've gone after." Shinji replied, blowing holes into both my explanation and another zombie.

I blew another zombie's head off before it could reach Shinji's side of the screen.

"Fine, I just didn't want to interrupt your little date, happy?"

"Date?"

I turned to face him, ignoring the undead. "You and Wondergirl. I didn't want to be third wheel on your little date. We don't have to do everything together, you know?"

I swivelled back to shoot zombies.

"Asuka, it wasn't a date," he said. It was Shinji's turn to face me. "And I like doing things with you."

"I know, but I just don't like her. She just ran you over yesterday!" I concentrated on the screen.

"She apologized," Shinji stated, a bit icily.

"Yeah, well, I still don't like her," I repeated. "Can we just drop this?"

"Alright," he said, tossing a grenade.

"Besides," I offered. "We're doing something together now."

He hmmed in response. We weren't a couple, but why did it feel like a couple fighting?

I felt a sense of unease sweep in, as the giant boss zombie died in slow motion.

So many things had changed today - Hikari had told that meathead she liked him. Rei said she thought he was cute.

Shinji yelled as a zombie bit him, and his health ran out. At least the zombies were still the same.

* * *

**Author's (Long and Rambling) Notes:**

For all four of you (yes, you!) who either haven't seen the entire series or who are still hopelessly lost, this takes place during that little slice of "normal Evangelion" in episode 26.

I actually wrote the first paragraph of this story about three or four months ago – it was just sitting there while I explored other ideas, and then I came back to it recently, deciding that the alternate reality presented in the end of the series was much more interesting. I know the setting's been done to death, but I haven't actually read an fic set in the alternate reality that's finished, written well, or which goes beyond a one-shot (not to say that they don't exist, just that I haven't found them… feel free to recommend some).

Also, the manga adaptations of Evangelion in high school (Shinji Ikari Raising Project and Angelic Days) are ridiculously slow to be translated, either officially or fan-translated (and let's face it, Angelic Days was a bit of a letdown).

I also like writing Evangelion characters in the alternate universe – it's fun writing them as (much more) well-adjusted people, having actual families and everything (gasp, Asuka can apologize?).

Speaking of which, Asuka's quite the unreliable narrator of the story – if she seems self-contradictory (especially about Shinji), that's just the fun of writing in first-person POV.

Mizuki Musashi's name comes from a character in _Full Metal Panic!_ along with the Evangelion naming convention of Japanese battleships – Musashi was the sister ship of the Japanese battleship Yamoto. Figure I should be honest about any names I create – even if they have no bearing in the story.

Reviews, comments, and criticisms are appreciated.

(Dec 17 2009)


	2. Intentions

_The angel was peculiar – a round blue ring of light. They still didn't know for sure if it was an angel; the pattern was only orange. Still, no one wanted to take the chance, so Rei and Asuka were to sortie. Even as they approached, the angel floated peacefully, like the halo of its namesake._

"_It's coming," Rei said._

_The angel moved faster than anyone imagined, immediately breaking its ring-shape and lunging for Rei's Evangelion. She reacted, too late – Eva Unit-00 and the angel started to merged, the angel disappearing into the robot's hands like stigmata. The one-eyed giant fired its rifle helplessly over and over again, bullets bouncing off the blue whip-shape. The spent shells clattered onto the streets below._

_Asuka was launched in Unit-02, an obstinate action at best. The mecha refused to move for her. The handles felt lifeless in her hands, as the red behemoth stood, dormant. She could hear the panicked voices of those in Terminal Dogma, but everything was background noise to Asuka, helplessly looking on as the angel continued its assault._

_Large veins grew on the blue Evangelion as the infection grew, robot and creature joining together. Rei's pain could be heard over the com-link. Unit-02 was withdrawn, the sinking darkness of the elevator an apt setting for Asuka's mood._

_And then Shinji came in to save the day. Last time, he had let Asuka sit there, helpless as her mind was laid bare. Last time it had been Rei to end her torment. No, the purple mecha would've never come if it were her infected by the Angel, she thought bitterly. It was a blatant vindication of her pathetic self-worth: Rei was more important than Asuka._

_She had lost to the doll. _

_The angel noticed this new combatant, moving towards Shinji._

"_No," Rei stated, with a finality that belied her intentions. The angel stopped scant metres from Shinji, snapping at him with the ferocity a wild dog leashed. And then it disappeared into Unit-00 like a tape measure winding. The whine of the self-destruct initializing was audible. _

_Was that a tear in Rei's eyes? Asuka couldn't be sure._

_A white glow was the only answer she received._

_

* * *

  
_

**Intentions**

Part two of an Evangelion fan-fiction.

Evangelion is the property of studio Gainax.

Series created by Hideaki Anno with character designs by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto.

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion; all characters and designs have been used without permission. Any brand names or trademarks have also been used without permission.

* * *

My eyes opened to a white haze, as the after-effects of the dream mixed with the soft morning light. I turned on my side to take a glance at my alarm clock; it was barely 6:00. I lay there, wide-awake: the dream had made sure of that.

What a ridiculous dream - Freud would've probably had a field day analyzing it. I turned again to lie on my back, pulling the covers over me, and again as I tried to get comfortable. This lasted about five minutes, before I gave up on sleep and scrambled to my feet.

I opened the sliding door to a darkened apartment. My parents were still in Germany on official research business; they knew I was mature enough to fend for myself. I grabbed a kettle from the cupboard, filled it with water, and put it on the stove to boil. My mug and an Earl Grey packet were set aside for when the water would be ready. Hopefully, some tea would sooth my nerves.

By the time I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I heard a high-pitched whine. Into my cup went the boiled water, quickly followed by the tea bag, and my usual milk and sugar. I took the mug to the balcony, sitting on the wooden patio chair we put outside. Tokyo-3 was still quiet, this early. A brisk autumn breeze was in the air: a bit chilly, perhaps, but I didn't mind, even only in my t-shirt and shorts.

I took a sip; the hot liquid was still scalding. I started blowing on the surface, casually tossing the tea bag into a wastebasket. Shinji had been incredulous the first time he heard I drank tea in bags, not leaves. And not just any tea, but Earl Grey. This had been in first or second grade, I think.

"We live in Japan," he had said, quite appalled at my irreverence for Japanese tea leaves.

I didn't care – chalk it up to my American and European heritage, I suppose. My dad always made sure he brought me packages of tea when he came back from Germany and New York. Japanese stores had outrageous prices for foreign-made stuff.

Shinji had stopped heckling me about it eventually, but he had always remembered. My next birthday, he gave me the red mug I used now, and a package of Earl Grey tea. It was pretty touching and thoughtful, especially considering how young we were. It was the first time I hugged him too, but only briefly: boys were still icky.

I smiled absentmindedly at the memory. My thumb traced over a crack on the cup handle (my mom had glued it back together, after I accidentally dropped it and refused to get a new mug).

I was thinking about Shinji again. It's surprising how many aspects of my life he had touched, and vice versa. I signed to no one in particular – it was so easy to reminisce, but I had to figure out what to do with Shinji now. The tea was now cool enough that I could now take bigger swallows. Looking back into the kitchen, the clock now read 6:42. I didn't want to walk with him today. At least, I didn't think I did. This annoyed me, all the indecisiveness.

Maybe I could at least make a decision on breakfast. I didn't even feel remotely hungry, but I knew I should probably eat something.

But first, a shower. As I relished the feeling of the water running over me, I remembered something else - the math homework due today. After the arcade, I had just crashed on the couch and watched TV.

"How convenient," I mused.

I could go work on the stupid math problems at the library. I wouldn't have to see him until class.

We didn't always walk to school together; it was just a morning routine, back towards the end of elementary school, when we were both old enough to walk to school ourselves. Hopefully, he wouldn't read too much into me going to school early. After all, Shinji was still a boy, and boys were stupid at that stuff, right? This occupied my mind as I slipped on my red hair clips, another gift from Shinji.

I finished getting ready, grabbed my bag and left the apartment – food could wait.

` My phone read 7:06 as I rang the doorbell for Shinji's apartment. Mrs. Ikari answered the door, wearing her usual morning apron.

"Hi dear, you're a bit early today, aren't you?"

I liked Shinji's mom. She usually gave me a smile in the mornings, and took my side when Shinji got too unruly.

"Hi Mrs. Ikari, I'm sorry for bothering you, but I have to go to school early today," I explained. "Could you let Shinji know that I'm not going to be walking with him today?"

"Oh, okay," she replied. "By the way, when are your parents coming back from Germany?"

"They said they might be back next week, but it really depends on when they're going to be done that project they keep talking about," I answered.

"Well, if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask," she offered. "I think I'll send Shinji over with some things for you later."

"It's alright," I sheepishly said. "You don't have to."

"Don't worry, dear, it's our pleasure."

"Anyway, I have to get going, thank you!"

She waved to me as I bowed and left.

After a quick stop at a 7-eleven for some breakfast snack bread and a sushi bento for lunch, I went down the familiar road to school.

No annoying blue-haired girls today. No Shinji Ikari to piss me off. They'd probably see each other again today (if Shinji actually woke up on time without me), this time without me to interrupt their little chat. That thought was enough to keep me in a sour mood all the way to school.

The library was actually somewhat full when I came in – most of the tables had at least one or two people. Hikari was, predictably, taking notes at one of the side tables, a stack of books in front of her.

"You're already starting to write that essay?" I announced my presence, eyeing the books she had taken out.

"Well, yeah," Hikari replied, as if it was perfectly normal. "It's due next month! Not all of us leave our assignments till the last day, you know."

Her point was underscored by the fact that I took out my math textbook to work on homework due in a few hours.

"Not all of us are perfect like you," I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of imperfections, how was the jock? When we left, it looked like he was about to jump off the roof to escape."

Hikari blushed a bit, and stopped writing.

"We just talked and ate lunch," she answered. "And then I helped him with the chores, and he walked me home."

"Did you guys kiss?" I asked, my curiosity overcoming my gag reflex at the idea of anyone kissing that moron.

"Shh!" A junior at the next table shushed us, before turning back to her work.

I stuck my tongue out at her in defiance and looked at Hikari.

"Well?"

"No!" She emphatically denied. "We just held hands… I think we were both just trying not to say anything stupid, or to find something to talk about. It was a bit awkward, to be honest."

"Well, I guess him being nervous means he likes you, at least."

"I don't know," she frowned. "The whole time I got the feeling he was uncomfortable with me."

"SHH!" The annoying girl struck again.

"Oh shush yourself," I snapped. "No one cares."

She made a rude gesture with her hand and packed up to sit at another table.

"I'm not sure if I should've given him that note," Hikari told me as I threw an eraser at the junior's retreating back.

""Did you guys talk about it, at least?" I asked, now thoroughly satisfied.

"No, but I'm going to meet him for lunch again today," she answered.

"Well, you should probably ask him then," I advised. "At least you'll get an answer."

"Yeah, I guess," Hikari looked a bit crestfallen as she resumed taking notes.

"It's better you gave him that note and got the whole thing over with than never knowing," I tried to assuage her mounting fears.

"Maybe…" Hikari answered, without looking up from the paper.

I took this as a sign that she wasn't particularly interested in continuing the conversation, took out my breakfast, and started on math.

It wasn't a particularly challenging set of problems, just busy work. The first few questions were easy – these were just review questions to make sure we had the necessary skills to do math this year.

_4. Shinji and his girlfriend went to the Yokohama Baystars game._

I shook my head. It was a stupid coincidence. Besides, Shinji hated the Baystars. His favourite team was the Giants. Heck, he didn't even like baseball that much. I read on.

_4. Shinji and his girlfriend went to the Yokohama Baystars game. They spent ¥2000 on a day pass for unlimited travel on the railway. At the stadium, they spent ¥7000 on a pair of tickets. At the game, Shinji's girlfriend, Asuka, also bought a plate of French fries for- _

What? Either I was seeing things, or Misato was screwing with my head, especially after the argument in class. I read the last line again.

_At the game, Shinji's girlfriend, Asuka, also bought a plate of French fries for ¥750._

Damn it.

"Hikari, did you do question 4 on the math sheet?"

She looked up at me again.

"You're not having trouble with it already, are you? They're just start-of-year review questions."

"Did you notice anything weird about the wording?" I shot her a quizzical look.

"No, is everything alright?" Hikari was as confused as me now.

I looked at the paper again.

_4. Ryohei and his girlfriend went to the Yokohama Baystars game. They spent ¥2000 on a day pass for unlimited travel on the railway. At the stadium, they spent ¥7000 on a pair of tickets. At the game, Ryohei's girlfriend, Reina, also bought a plate of French fries for ¥750. Ryohei also bought a jersey and an autographed baseball at the game. The jersey cost twice as much as the ball. If Ryohei's budget was ¥20000, and he had ¥1250 yen left at the end of the day, how much were the jersey and the ball?_

"Asuka?" Hikari asked, as I read and re-read the question again.

"Yeah, never mind…"

Hikari just shrugged and went back to her work, and left me to my own problems, both math and otherwise.

I was so unnerved that when Hikari left for homeroom, I purposely stayed behind so I wouldn't have time to talk to Shinji before class. I ducked into the familiar room just before bell rang, making it to my desk just as Hikari did her whole "rise, bow, sit down" routine.

Shinji tried to get my attention, but I did my best not to look at him. I didn't turn on my laptop, either, so he couldn't message me. Misato was talking to the class about an egg dropping assignment we were to do. My mind drifted in and out of listening.

"… your grades will be determined by how much you can slow your egg down as it falls. I'll be measuring the seconds to impact…"

Instead, I looked over to Wondergirl, who was staring at Shinji, not that he noticed. She saw me looking at her though, and quickly tried to hide the fact she was interested in my best friend.

"_You know what?" Shinji had said. "I'll even prove it to you. The next time I really like a girl, I'll ask her out."_

What if it became the other way around: what if the girl asked him out? Shinji said she was cute. What if he said yes? What if. What if. What if I just found out the answer?

When Misato let us out for lunch, I went over to Rei immediately. I saw Shinji try to approach me in the corner of my eye, then stop as he realized I was talking to Rei, of all people.

"Want to have lunch?" I asked brusquely.

Rei nodded, and grabbed her bag. I walked with her outside, making sure not to look at Shinji. My heart sank a bit as I saw the perturbed look on his face.

We sat under the tree in the schoolyard. I took out my pre-packaged lunch, while Rei brought out a small vegetarian platter.

"You don't eat meat?" I asked, mildly surprised.

"Well, I'm only vegetarian sometimes. I'll eat chicken and fish occasionally, but for the most part, no, I don't eat meat," she admitted.

"I see," I said, putting a piece of eel into my mouth.

"I'm surprised you asked if I wanted to have lunch." Rei bit on a carrot.

"Well, Hikari's having lunch with one of the idiot trio, and we needed to talk." I said between chews.

She tilted her head at me a bit, silently asking the obvious question.

"I never answered your question yesterday," I explained. "About Shinji, I mean."

I did a quick scan of the grounds. Hikari and Toji were on the roof, and Shinji and Kensuke were over by the fence above the pool, probably ogling the freshmen as they had PE.

"I figured it might have something to do with that," Rei sighed. "Ever since I transferred in, that's all that I've been asked about."

I picked up another piece of sushi with my chopsticks. We both chewed silently.

"Before I answer your question, I have to ask you one first," I went on. "Are you interested in him? You said you thought he was cute."

"I don't really know the guy," she replied. "It'd probably be fun if we went out, but it's not like I'm in love with him or anything."

"I mean, we just met," Rei summarized.

I nodded. A basketball rolled towards us. I grabbed it and threw it back to the court.

"You asked me what me and Shinji are," I started, choosing my words carefully. "It's… complicated. We've been best friends since forever, and there might be something there but…"

I paused again, trying to compose a better explanation.

"Everyone's always expected us to get together. I guess maybe I did too. None of the other girls ever went after him, because of that. I had all the time in the world to think about things. And then you transferred, and-"

"And you were scared that I was going to steal him away." Rei finished my sentence.

"Not steal," I corrected. "But I did get scared."

I didn't know why I felt the need to say this in front of probably my biggest rival for Shinji.

"I just don't want to screw our friendship up, but I don't want to lose him either. So that's my answer." I finished.

We ate in silence as my entire speech sank in. I started watching the basketball game, not because I was interested, but because it was something to occupy my attention. We sat there until it was almost time to go back inside.

"One week," Rei said.

"Pardon me?" I wasn't aware if I had missed something before that.

"I'll give you one week to figure it out, and then you can explain it to me. I wasn't planning on going out with him that soon anyway," Rei elaborated.

It wasn't quite the answer I was hoping for, but it was more than fair. Not many girls would've stepped aside for another girl, even just for seven days.

"Thank you," I softly acknowledged.

An agreement reached, we packed up and went inside for the start of afternoon classes.

The rest of our classmates filed in groups of two or three; Shinji, Toji, and Kensuke came in together. Oddly enough, they were silent, instead of chattering about the latest anime or something. They each took a look at me, almost at the same time, and quickly sat down.

Subtle.

Hikari was the last to come in – she had been crying, I could tell. If you weren't looking for it, you wouldn't have noticed it, but her eyes were a little puffy, and just a little red. She bolted for her chair, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

I glared at Toji, who fidgeted a little in his seat.

"Alright class, time for math!"

Math wasn't what I was concerned about right now. Hikari was.

It was no use trying to message her on the computers: Hikari, the perfect student, never used her laptop for anything but taking notes. Instead, I always had to wait for her to look my way to communicate in class.

_Are you okay?_ I mouthed, when she finally turned her head towards me.

_Later_. She mouthed back, before looking ahead to the front of the class.

For once, I cursed not sitting with Hikari – as class rep, she had to sit at the front, and I hated sitting at the front. Teachers only saw the troublemakers at the front. Besides, Shinji and I usually sat together.

It was obvious that Hikari was crying because of something his idiotic friend had done, though. Hikari confirmed it after school, when she started crying immediately as we went into the Girls' washroom. It wasn't full-blown sobbing, but tears were flowing down her cheeks.

"Before I had a chance to say anything, he told me that he had to tell me something: he said that he only liked me as a friend," Hikari sniffed, wiping her face with a wad of toilet paper. It was a good thing she didn't wear make-up, or her mascara would've been ruined.

"That jerk doesn't deserve you," I scowled.

"No, he was really nice about it." Hikari took a shaky breath and continued. "He said that we've known each other too long, and that he didn't have those types of feelings for me. Then he apologized again, and we hugged. He said he really hoped we could still be friends."

Hikari blew her nose on the wad and threw it out. I grabbed another handful of toilet paper and offered it to her.

"Well, he doesn't know what he's missing," I tried to console her. "Plenty of other guys out there would kill to go out with you." It was a cliché of a comfort line, but I didn't know what else to say. Toji wouldn't have been my choice for a boyfriend, but he wasn't exactly the worst guy in the school. I was actually surprised that he was kind enough to let Hikari down that gently.

"I'll be alright," Hikari gave me a weak smile, taking the paper and dabbing at her eyes a bit. Her tears had mostly stopped.

"Do you regret it?" I asked.

"Right now I do," she shuddered after replying.

"But it's like you said. At least this way I get my question answered." Hikari looked at herself in the mirror, straightening her hair a bit.

"Now, I can start to get over him."

I gave her a hug, and we started walking out to the schoolyard.

Shinji had already left with Kensuke and Rei. It was a Saturday afternoon, and most of the school had cleared out to get started on their weekend plans.

I walked Hikari to the gate. Toji had finished his class duty, and was waiting for us at the gate.

"Hi Hikari," he greeted my friend, ignoring me completely. "Can I walk you home?

I gave Hikari one of my "are you sure about this" looks, and she nodded. I grabbed Toji and pulled him aside, as Hikari watched.

"Look, idiot," I hissed, "let's get one thing clear. You already hurt her once today. I don't want to hear about you doing something else stupid, or you'll be answering to me, got it?"

I raised a fist to make my point. Either he was scared, or embarrassed about what had happened, because he nodded, without even trying to argue with me.

"I wasn't planning to, Red Devil," he countered, with no bite behind the usual nickname. "And while we're talking about not hurting friends, you need to talk to Shinji."

"I know," I conceded. "You fix things with her, and I'll fix things with Shinji. Deal?"

"Deal."

Our conversation over, we walked back to Hikari. I hugged her, made her promise to call me on the weekend if she needed, gave her another hug, and then we each went our separate ways.

I looked back at them as they walked down the street, the two figures looking away from each other, not with any malice or like a fighting couple, but more like two people who didn't have anything to say to each other. They took turns looking at each other with the other's head turned, and rounded the corner.

The sun was already setting by the time I got back to the apartment. I had just put my schoolbag down when the doorbell rang.

Shinji was at the door, with two bags of what appeared to be food. It was the first time all day we had talked to each other, much less given each other direct eye contact. He was a little hesitant when I opened the door, worried that I was about to snap.

"Hi," he said, fairly subdued. "My mom sent me with this stuff for you – I'm not entirely sure what it was."

He looked like he was giving me a bomb about to go off, preparing to run away from the ensuing explosion.

"Well, I'll just leave you alone now," he turned to leave.

"Wait, Shinji," I reached out to grab his shoulder and pull him back.

"Asuka-"

"I'm sorry," I cut him off. "I've just been in a bad mood today, and I sort of took it out on you."

He looked relieved, certain now that he didn't do anything to deserve my wrath.

"Asuka, it's alright, really," he replied.

"No, it isn't," I said. "I'll make it up to you right now - want to stay for dinner? I can't possibly eat all of this by myself."

"Sure," he replied. smiling.

He went into the living room to call his mom to let her know he'd be eating here, as I took the food into the kitchen. Shinji's mom had packed a bunch of rice balls (my favourite, she knew), and some sliced meat and vegetables, and that was only one bag.

I put some water to boil for tea (Japanese tea leaves this time), and took the food out of the packages. Shinji came into the kitchen.

"Need any help?"

"Sure, you can start setting the table," I ordered.

He opened the dishwasher and started grabbing dishes and chopsticks.

In retrospect, I knew exactly what I was doing, and what might happen, from the moment I invited him inside. No matter how scared I was, my curiosity wouldn't be denied. I was going to find out exactly what he felt for me tonight, and what I felt for him – that was the plan, at the very least.

Almost reflexively, I came up behind him as he set the plate onto the table, and leaned over dangerously close, resting my chin on his shoulder as my arms slid around his chest. I could feel him stiffen up a bit, as he realized what I started to do.

My body was pretty stiff too, I realized, as my brain started to exhibit rational thought again. I was quivering a bit – if I was actually going to do this, it had to be quick, before my nerves got the better of me. His head tilted around to meet mine, and I started to close the small gap separating our mouths, inch by agonizing inch.

Not nearly quick enough, because I stopped ever-so-close. Just quick enough, as he surprised me by leaning in the last little bit to press his lips to mine.

It wasn't a deep kiss, not at first – almost like one of those friendly pecks, as we both weren't sure how far to take this. Then we started getting into it, after the initial shock of "this is happening" wore off. At some point, I felt his arms pull me in tighter.

That's when I reacted.

"I think you should go," I said, pulling back. His expression was curiously blank – a bit shocked at how fast things just moved?

I just couldn't go through with it, Shinji, I wanted to say. I don't want us to turn out like Hikari and Toji, tension between us whenever we're together, too scared to talk to each other because we screwed up as more than friends. And I can't be around you without wanting you to hold me again like that and kiss me again.

"Okay." A trace of disappointment, now. Or was that just me hoping for one? My mind ran through the words I wanted to say.

I'm sorry, Shinji. I can't risk this. Not right now. Not when I can barely figure out which possibility I want for us. And not when I'm unsure why I'm doing this. Not yet.

I couldn't speak, or bring myself to look at him as he left.

The door closed softly.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

I'm settling into a sort of monthly rhythm for writing, in case anyone's actually wondering how often I update, that's a heads-up. Part of being a writer, at least I find, is that you tend to get a bunch of ideas for stories that you can't help but start and try to develop. And then before you know it, you have a bunch of things in various stages of completion, before you realize some of them just don't work, and will never see the light of day (or in this case, the light of the internet).

It's like fiction-ADD. That said, I don't plan to leave anything unfinished (yes, I intend on returning to writing BtEO after this).

A few minor continuity notes here – I almost made the mistake of calling the school a high school (and mixed up the seniors, juniors, etc.) Looking back at the first chapter, I only mentioned that it was a high school in the author's notes (which was a mistake). In fact, Japanese high school goes from grades 10-12, so the Evangelion pilots are actually seniors at a middle school. Also, school in Japan runs five or six days a week, depending on the school. Oops.

Rice balls are called onigiri – they're fairly sizable, and widely available in Japan.

The Yokohama Baystars are a Japanese baseball team in Japan's Nippon Professional Baseball league – they play in the same prefecture as Hokone (where Tokyo-3 is supposed to be). The Yomiuri Giants are also a Japanese baseball team, sort of the New York Yankees of Japanese baseball. No Second Impact also means that Japanese baseball teams are pretty much the same in 2015.

Finally, Japan doesn't have Daylight Savings Time – hence, the sunset at 5ish.

Sorry if it wasn't clear in the first chapter, but I do intend to continue this; it's not just a one-shot. That would've been a pretty crappy ending to the first chapter on my part if I ended it on "Shinji and Asuka talk about Rei", no?

Instead, maybe I'll end the story on "Shinji and Asuka talk about getting together", or "Shinji and Rei get together", or maybe "Asuka and Rei get together…"

Asuka/Toji, anyone?

Then again, who says anyone has to get together?

(Jan 13 2010)


End file.
